spiralicious: My Creative Juices May Contain Pulp (Juices)
[personal profile] spiralicious
Vexed found the plot generator. It's basically a giant mad lib that creates a backcover novel summary with “reviews”. You can put in your own fills or use ones from their drop menu. The genres you can do are horror, short story, movie script, story ideas, drabble, freestyle, romance, fantasy, paranormal, crime, mystery, science, dystopian, vampire, Bronte, or summertime. It's ridiculously addicting and we both spent way too much time on it.

Here are two that although completely cracktastic, I feel compelled to write them, eventually:

Sam the Vampire Slayer

A Teen Vampire Story

There's a gracious new boy in Sludgeside and he has everybody talking. Stunningly puny and devastatingly thin, all the boys want him. However, Oskar von Horifikus has a secret - he's a creepy vampire.

Sam Winchester is a splendid, porky boy who enjoys knitting. He becomes fascinated by Oskar who can stop hippos with his bare hands. He doesn't understand why he's so standoffish.

His best friend, an articulate moose called Spencer, helps Sam begin to piece together the puzzle. Together, they discover the ultimate weapon - the pink, enchanted razor.

When bodies start turning up all over Sludgeside, Sam begins to fear the worst. The moose urges her to report Oskar to the police and he knows he should, so what's stopping him?

He may resist Oskar's bite, but can he resist his charms?

Will he be caught sleeping with the vampire?

Praise for Sam the Vampire Slayer

"Bursting with originality. A splendid boy falling for a puny vampire has simply never been done before."
The Daily Tale

"About as moving as a cow stuck in a bog, but Sam the Vampire Slayer does deliver an important message about not having a moose for a friend."
Enid Kibbler

"A pink, enchanted razor would be my first choice too. This must be based on a true story, you couldn't make this stuff up!"
Hit the Spoof

"I could do better."
Zob Gloop

(I did not add moose. Moose was actually one of the drop down menu options under magical creatures and that just made it better)

The Curse of the Stripy Banana

A Horror Story

Whilst investigating the death of a local detective, a gentle actor called Dean Winchester uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, stripy banana circulating throughout London. As soon as anyone uses the banana, he or she has exactly 50 days left to live.

The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look distorted. A marked person feels like a creepy toad to touch.

Dean gets hold of the banana, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into his mind: a backward fox balancing on a wild detective, an old newspaper headline about a sausage accident, a hooded hamster ranting about feet and a drinking well located in a picturesque place.

When Dean notices his thighs have toad-like properties, he realises that the curse of the stripy banana is true and calls in his stranger, a homemaker called Jack O'Neill, to help.

Jack examines the banana and willingly submits himself to the curse. He finds that the same visions flash before his eyes. He finds the backward fox balancing on a wild detective particularly chilling. He joins the queue for a supernatural death.

Dean and Jack pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded hamster. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?

Praise for The Curse of the Stripy Banana

"This is actually pretty scary. I'll never be able to look at another stripy banana for as long as I live."
The Daily Tale

"Oh please! There's nothing scary about a backward fox balancing on a wild detective. Are we supposed to feel spooked?"
Enid Kibbler

"The hooded hamster really freaked me out."
Hit the Spoof

"I hope Dean and Jack get married."
Zob Gloop

(no subject)

Date: 2017-06-20 08:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] milly-gal.livejournal.com
LOL!!! they must be written!

(no subject)

Date: 2017-06-23 01:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kattrip033.livejournal.com
Sam Winchester is a splendid, porky boy who enjoys knitting. Is what really sold me on the first one ^_^

(no subject)

Date: 2017-06-23 12:51 pm (UTC)


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